Africa is overwhelming sometimes I have a list a mile long about the things I would love to do to help people there. I also have a list of concerns that reaches about the same length. Things like, "has money actually corrupted Africa? How do you give and not make people defendant? How do you balance service projects but not let them be the focus? " A lot of well meaning people have tried to do good for Africa but have actually brought more complications and problems. I do not want to be someone who adds to the problem.
In my head play the dreams of my future husband and myself. Dreams to make an impact for Christ in Uganda. Dreams to help teach men to be father and husbands and women to trust in God and children to grow up knowing they are loved in cherished.
These dreams play in my head as I watch a sad story unfold. I watch someone who I helped get supported, some one I believe had integrity turn into a liar, using bribery and trickery to get his way. I see an 8 year old little girl being torn apart because of his actions. I see 90 kids being confused as their spiritual leader teaches them to lie. I see a church being deceived from the pulpit by their pastor. My heart is heavy with questions of what is my obligation in this situation, if I do something to stop this man now what happens to those 90 kids, and even worse if I do nothing what happens to those 90 kids.
It's hard to be in America and listen to these things happen. I want to take action, I want to be there, I want to scream, and want to clang sirens, I want to do SOMETHING! But, I don't know what to do…so I wait, and pray, and I cry, and pray and I wait for guidance.
The 20th will also be the sixth month anniversary of my last full day in Uganda. The last day I got to spend with the man I love. It has been so difficult to be apart from him. It gives me lots of time to reflect on the way God brought us together, our time together and our time apart. Each step has taught me something different. I appreciate so much time in Uganda getting to know the culture of the one I love, a study in understanding him better. I loved our time together getting to know each other more. I can even find joy in the benefit of our being apart and growing in knowledge of each other through letters, e-mails and phone calls. I look forward to the next step, I can't wait to marry him, I can't wait to explore the home of my birth.
I also look forward to the step after that when we return to Uganda and enjoy our journey in the home of my heart. I feel God has given me such an education in missions in the last four years! I have worked with all Ugandans, I have worked with American. I have seen the good and bad in the way both choose to run their mission projects in Uganda. I look forward to Allan and I working to serve God together, able to mix the best of these cultures. He can help me understand how to better reach Ugandans and we can work side by side.
All of this will be a result of God's sending me to Africa four years ago. A puzzle was started, It has been amazing to watch the pieces fall into place, I can't wait to see the final picture.
lonely
